Thursday, December 23, 2010

I just need to nothing for a minute...

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, with the kids jingle belling, and everyone telling you ‘have one more beer’, it’s the most indulgent, drunken, lazy, scurvy-inducing  time of the year.

So far I’ve had our pre-Christmas family get together meal, visited the Christmas market, had two work Christmas parties (all paid for by ourselves, so don't start!), had some pre-Christmas catch up lunches, dinners and drinks, with more planned before the day itself.

I am stuffed. Full of good food, good wine, junk food, bad vodka. Well good vodka, but you know...
 
I love to be out, seeing people, talking, laughing, eating, drinking and all that stuff. It’s lovely to catch up with people you haven’t seen in a while, or even those you see all the time. The diary fills quickly, so popular, so in demand, so much fun.

However, I also need to ‘homeostasise’, which is not even a word.

According to Maslow we all have certain basic physiological needs in order to function as human beings. Among the obvious ones, like eating and drinking, is homeostasis. Never quite understood that one, but my humble opinion follows.

Homeostasis comes from the phrase ‘stay at home’. In order to achieve homeostasis you must follow these simple rules. 

1. Go home straight from work, do not go to the pub for 'one' or meet a friend for 'quick coffee'. You may, in exceptional circumstances, go to Marks and Spencer and wander around buying nice foodstuffs.

2. Get into either pyjamas and a fluffy dressing gown or tracksuit bottoms and your most worn t-shirt and hoody. Whichever option you go for, you must wear fluffy socks or your tattiest slippers for full effect.

3. Gather all remote controls, mobile phones, laptops or other pieces of technology and carefully arrange around your favourite armchair or spot on the couch. 

4. Select a channel that requires no brain power, tuck your legs under yourself and watch mind numbing TV while eating your dinner off your lap.

Warning: If you do not take time to homeostasise regularly, especially during this festive season, you may turn into a non-human.

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